by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 533rd Most World Assembly Endorsements: 591st Most Advanced Defense Forces: 696th
The Country of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Protect and support each other
Captain Cutter
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population3.476 billion

LeaderCaptain Cutter

CurrencyFruits and vegetables
AnimalLekgoto worm

The Country of Longsword01 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Captain Cutter with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.476 billion Swords are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded morass — prioritizes Defense, although Environment, Administration, and Law & Order are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Infinity. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Longsword01ian economy, worth 436 trillion Fruits and vegetableses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 125,682 Fruits and vegetableses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Foreign lack of enthusiasm for Longsword01ian nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli, the new Really Big Telescope has been praised for presenting pictures of bright dots in unprecedented detail, police nightsticks see use all day long, and children as young as eight can present logical proofs for the existence of the afterlife. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Longsword01's national animal is the Lekgoto worm, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Longsword01 is ranked 163,995th in the world and 8,890th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 35.23 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.

Most Primitive: 533rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 591stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 696thMost Ignorant Citizens: 822ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 855thMost Influential: 933rdBest Weather: 1,147thMost Devout: 1,366thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,504thTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 1,903rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,381stHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,450thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,233rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,886thLargest Governments: 4,418thMost Cultured: 5,622ndLowest Crime Rates: 5,911thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 7,303rdHighest Poor Incomes: 8,018thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,036thTop
Most Inclusive: 9,720thMost Advanced Public Transport: 9,849thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,209thMost Subsidized Industry: 10,710thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11,858thMost Efficient Economies: 14,491stMost Authoritarian: 14,739th
Most Primitive: 21st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 26th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 30th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 39th in the regionMost Devout: 61st in the regionBest Weather: 66th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 90th in the regionTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 98th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 126th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 135th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 144th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 188th in the regionLargest Governments: 213th in the regionMost Cultured: 277th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 298th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 299th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 349th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 375th in the regionMost Influential: 384th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 387th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 430th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 441st in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 509th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 527th in the regionMost Inclusive: 581st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 752nd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 825th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, children as young as eight can present logical proofs for the existence of the afterlife.
  • : Longsword01 lodged a message on the The North Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, police nightsticks see use all day long.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, the new Really Big Telescope has been praised for presenting pictures of bright dots in unprecedented detail.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, foreign lack of enthusiasm for Longsword01ian nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities.
  • : Longsword01 lodged a message on the The North Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, census workers are having a hard time figuring out who is actually living in Longsword01 after the ban on emigration was lifted.
  • : Longsword01 endorsed The Republic of 0Gang.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 206 » Yaorozu, The Rhein States, ISOP, Notyoutopia, Siwale, Shin-Hachioji, Buckerino, Territorio di Nessuno, PlanetPunk, Sundred, Corfad, Kwaj, Bayern-Straubing, Koda-Land, Pallaith, Newpromisedland, Selfgradatude, Shibutani, United Draconia, Votak Matim, Holy Oranz, Babacar, Frances Francis the First of France, Malta Comino Gozo, Municipality of Baria and Vungtau, New Pruessen, Great Bights Mum, Dar es Saalam, Niradans, Sanjurika, HeartLard, Sinelona, Sunto, The United States of Romania, Former English Colony, Valhalla123, Shadowrik, THX1138, Snoodum, New Bremerton, Wilkshire, Californian Redwood, Spartoptia, Wineclaw, Minuda, The Austro Germanic Union, Universal State Formula, Vincone Cae, North Bratislava, Uganda Knuckles UK, and 156 others.Kasazzastan, Sakaryata, The Iron Lions, Ethnon, Cloydicia, Highton Islands, National Goats, Diodone, El Fiji Grande, Kobagia, Napnomadia, Sheldanada, Dreadton, Bearical, The Windmilluminati, Kulgatha, Ka Ching, Ostrolia, Australiland, Amauri, Omnistria, Federation Terra Australis, Hong Kong Empire, Unsophisticate, Lunallian, Black Templares, Outer Egorniand, Ninjak30, SillyString, Empy, Pleroma Sans Romans, The Pantheons, Xentherida, Zumlandia, The South Falls, Yukti, Partax, Maott, Joodey, Ham Federation, New Eleria, General COE, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Ethereal Expanse, Pasargad, Steraz, COCONUT-CITY, Alunya, Moubarakistan, Ainsworth, Ozstan, British Bayonet, Atain, The Sinclarian Provinces, Guer Aike, Suicidistan, Union of Austria-Hungary, Ara Antrizuls, Justanistan, The Wiganese Islands, Q w e r t y, Ostrinios, Sil Dorsett, SchoolHouse Rock, Ofemerica, Egalico, Tappan Hills, Solmetria, Acrabinnia, Torakuen, Fayyayid, Hesterin, Guslantis, Lemonbiscuits, Kirostan, Sea Ghost, Bohr Einstein, The Notorious Mad Jack, Novare Res, Racoda, Ibiscaton, Korolk, Advancia-Sizzletown, VarDrade, Spunkland, Norostilors, Saturns Edge, Misuvelia, Zemnaya Svoboda, Orven, Peldorn, Jasminlandia, Swaz Islands, Steampunk Ariel, Plangainer, Trillius, Marijuana Haven, Osiris-Rex, Haor Chall, Tsardom of Leonlandia, Unimaginable Doom, Ejhsa, The Empire of Bangladesh, Revolutionary Sealand, Soviet Terran, Free Culture, Miruma, Seidr Wyrd, Liberum Mundi, Victoriaans Nederlands, Apetopia, Lomjia, Choistan, Thiammyalllaland, Nakayo, 1 very fast endotarter, Aratani, Bananoonza, Lesbian Femdom, Yummy Blubber, Ikea Rike, The Ered Engrin, Drusselstein, Free Azzaca, 2 and 2 is Fish, Mystic Forest, AltanUrag, Dopeland420, Newam, COCOPUFFS, The Backwardest Nation You Know, Abject Ludicrosity, British Pacific Islands, Vikingiarchy, Loutsland, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Centromuria, Castle Federation, Prydania, Noahs Second Country, Aylwater, Abiswashyo-bhumi, Test for a new hope, Felpolandia, Central Swolo, The Stratosphere Islands, Conservadoria, Loli County, Rynion, Venezuelia, Indiana Hoosier nation, Esonian empire, North Altatude, The Black Cathedral, Antityranicals, and Elder Realms.

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