The Free Land of Logistein is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Robert with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons. The cynical population of 15.752 billion Logisteinians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gizmo. The average income tax rate is 83.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Logisteinian economy, worth a remarkable 2,600 trillion Rations a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 165,117 Rations, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

EULAs remind customers that "Private Mode" is a browser setting rather than a promise, the general public only knows their favorite politician's first name, athletic teenagers are among the wealthiest members of society, and a degree in Robert Science with a Minor in Awesomeology starts many political careers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Logistein's national animal is the Owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Logistein is ranked 11,883^rd in the world and 1^st in Logistinian Alliance for Lowest Crime Rates, with 98 law-abiding acts per hour.