The Old Regime of Levantin is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The State Council with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, anti-smoking policies, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.011 billion Levantines are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ur Sargon. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37.4%.

The all-consuming Levantine economy, worth 622 trillion coins a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Cheese Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 124,148 coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 419,472 per year while the poor average 27,176, a ratio of 15.4 to 1.

Terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums, the fate of the world literally rests on The State Council's fingers, strange lights seen in the sky are officially regarded as weather balloons or hoaxes and nothing else, and conscientious objectors are hanged as traitors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Levantin's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Sun Worship - Christianity.

Levantin is ranked 202,713^th in the world and 6,907^th in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -169.37 on the Scary Big Number Scale.