by Max Barry

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Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 782nd Most Advanced Public Education: 1,235th Most Advanced Public Transport: 1,849th
The People and Government of
Left-wing Utopia
Service, Order, and Justice
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population24.23 billion

CapitalLegalese City
LeaderDirector General
FaithThe Legal Cult of Margaret

CurrencyLegal Exchange Unit

The People and Government of Legalese is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Director General with a fair hand, and remarkable for its ban on automobiles, soft-spoken computers, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 24.23 billion Legalites are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Social Policy, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Legalese City. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Legalesean economy, worth a remarkable 3,775 trillion Legal Exchange Units a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 155,829 Legal Exchange Units, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government frequently panders to parents with boutique tax credits, the people are famous throughout the region for their bleached-white teeth, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, and public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Legalese's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Legal Cult of Margaret.

Legalese is ranked 149,816th in the world and 183rd in Atlantian Oceania for Most Primitive, scoring -312.53 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 782ndMost Advanced Public Education: 1,235thTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 1,849thMost Developed: 2,037thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,075thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,169thHighest Economic Output: 2,236thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,362ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,445thHealthiest Citizens: 2,463rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,587thLargest Governments: 2,795thNicest Citizens: 2,941stMost Inclusive: 3,072ndLowest Crime Rates: 3,154thLargest Populations: 3,262ndSmartest Citizens: 3,661stHighest Poor Incomes: 3,866thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,217thMost Pacifist: 4,304thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,335thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,348thSafest: 4,370thLeast Corrupt Governments: 4,611thMost Beautiful Environments: 6,433rdMost Influential: 7,014thBest Weather: 7,023rdMost Cultured: 8,030thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 9,425thMost Stationary: 11,189thMost Subsidized Industry: 11,387thHighest Average Incomes: 11,467thMost Cheerful Citizens: 11,686thMost Income Equality: 12,537thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 14,129thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,027thMost Efficient Economies: 15,473rd
Most Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 2nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 3rd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 3rd in the regionNicest Citizens: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 3rd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 4th in the regionMost Developed: 4th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 6th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 6th in the regionMost Income Equality: 6th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 7th in the regionMost Pacifist: 8th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 9th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 9th in the regionSafest: 9th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9th in the regionTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 11th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11th in the regionBest Weather: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12th in the regionMost Cultured: 12th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 13th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionMost Influential: 15th in the regionMost Secular: 16th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 17th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 18th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 19th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers.
  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal.
  • : Legalese was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Secular.
  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, the people are famous throughout the region for their bleached-white teeth.
  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, the government frequently panders to parents with boutique tax credits.
  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, people have become comfortably numb.
  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, the freedom to be free is always just out of reach.
  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, criminals always seem to be forewarned of police raids.
  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, gossip magazines have pictures of Director General sunbathing on the beach with political rivals.
  • : Following new legislation in Legalese, there's never enough space in space.


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