The United Incorporated States of Laxoimia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Jonathan Bernhardt with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, sprawling nuclear power plants, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 11.805 billion Laxomese have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dellmoor. The average income tax rate is 70.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Laxoimian economy, worth a remarkable 2,629 trillion Laxoimia Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 222,755 Laxoimia Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Any secret that gets off someone's chest is promptly replaced, the government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly, travelers are subject to extensive searches if beet stains are visible on their clothing, and both criminals and civilians are DOA. Crime is totally unknown. Laxoimia's national animal is the Laxoimia Flying Parrot Fish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Christianity.

Laxoimia is ranked 5,261^st in the world and 268^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 114.47 law-abiding acts per hour.