The Flocks of Lamatia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Chief Michael with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, enslaved workforce, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 4.741 billion Lamatians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is effectively ruled by the Department of Spirituality, with Education and Law & Order not funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hope. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Lamatian economy, worth 359 trillion bottle caps a year, is highly specialized and led by the Soda Sales industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Retail, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 75,860 bottle caps, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 234,594 per year while the poor average 18,912, a ratio of 12.4 to 1.

Scenic tours are unheard of after most environmental laws were abolished, stylish juvenile delinquents are highly overrepresented in fatal motorcycle accidents, it is rumoured that Chief Michael uses a magic 8-ball to make policy decisions, and nose plugs are the latest Lamatian fashion accessory. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Lamatia's national animal is the hedgehog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Lamatian Orthodoxy.

Lamatia is ranked 315,891^st in the world and 62^nd in Gypsy Lands for Most Secular, with 0.6 Atheism Rate.