The Cyootie of La Xingan Sports Association is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by massive cheeks with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.025 billion cheeks are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the closet. The average income tax rate is 38.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong decrepit economy, worth 466 trillion cheeks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 77,439 cheeks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The military frequently holds bake sales to raise funds, the Violetist community celebrates bombshells being dropped on La Xingan Sports Association, jumping in puddles after rainstorms has become an indoor activity, and being dead no longer has any benefits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. La Xingan Sports Association's national animal is the fat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is girls.

La Xingan Sports Association is ranked 83,355^th in the world and 3^rd in Alesia for Highest Average Incomes, with 77,439.86 Standard Monetary Units.