The Commonwealth of Kylesylvania is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 27.338 billion Kylesylvanians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, pro-business government prioritizes Spirituality, with Law & Order, Education, and Defense also on the agenda, while Healthcare and Welfare aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.0%.

The strong Kylesylvanian economy, worth 990 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Trout Farming, and Book Publishing. Average income is 36,242 dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 199,068 per year while the poor average 3,353, a ratio of 59.4 to 1.

The government is seen to favor Catholics, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, education and welfare spending are on the rise, and smoking is banned in public areas. Crime is a problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Kylesylvania's national animal is the fox, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Kylesylvania is ranked 256,821^st in the world and 126^th in Right to Life for Lowest Crime Rates, with 48.24 law-abiding acts per hour.