The Militant Empire of Kyavan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Archduke Nathaniel Aelrich with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.636 billion Kyavanis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jadotgrad. The average income tax rate is 78.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Kyavanian economy, worth 239 trillion Crowns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 146,184 Crowns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?", expats return home to a government devoid of social and environmental agencies, would-be emigrants are told "abandon all hope all ye who would exit here", and major internet servers have acquired citizenship. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kyavan's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Protestant Orthodoxy.

Kyavan is ranked 166,860^th in the world and 660^th in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators for Most Devout, with 2.27 Prayers Per Hour.