The Holy Empire of Kroumos is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 490 million Kroumosians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, well-organized government prioritizes Education, with Welfare, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Patrick. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.3%.

The strong Kroumosian economy, worth 39.1 trillion Joules a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 79,831 Joules, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Museums stand half-empty as all foreign exhibits are returned to their countries of origin, the government seizes all major gold finds, war criminals are given full state funerals, and protests are prohibited from blocking traffic. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kroumos's national animal is the Human, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kroumos is ranked 135,898^th in the world and 6,393^rd in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 8.47 Obesity Rate.