The Republic of Kroken is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Arne with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, daily referendums, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 11.385 billion Krokenians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Law & Order, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neslandsvatn. The average income tax rate is 27.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Krokenian economy, worth a remarkable 2,868 trillion Trilqis a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 251,959 Trilqis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An epidemic of unpopped kernels causes movie goers to gnash their teeth, the military has declared that 'a woman's place is in the mess hall', grade school teachers mark homework with red "CITATION NEEDED" stamps, and a positive pregnancy test doubles as a visa. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Kroken's national animal is the Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kroken is ranked 28,409^th in the world and 850^th in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 103.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.