The Allied States of Kowani is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Leander Sá'Marcos e Inmelda with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The compassionate population of 7.045 billion Kowanî are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Administrative District. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Kowaní economy, worth a remarkable 2,058 trillion Digital Kaolis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is an amazing 292,169 Digital Kaolis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Light entertainment shows are light on actual entertainment, dozens of viewers go online to hear whether a comma has been added to Clause 5 in Subsection B of Law 58375, beaches are empty as the shark population multiplies exponentially, and ministers browse Alright! magazine for fashion tips. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kowani's national animal is the Raven, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Atheism.

Kowani is ranked 226,892^nd in the world and 35^th in Council of Constructed Languages for Most Primitive, scoring -1017.73 on the Scary Big Number Scale.