by Max Barry

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Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 9,728th Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,484th Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,979th
The Intellectual State of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Cool cars go faster. That's a scientific fact.
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Strong
Political Freedom
Excellent

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

KowalskiThePenguin

Population4.979 billion

LeaderKowalski
FaithPenguinism

CurrencyCoin
AnimalBarbarian

The Intellectual State of KowalskiThePenguin is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Kowalski with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, zero percent divorce rate, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 4.979 billion Kowalskians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 45.1%.

The strong KowalskiThePenguinian economy, worth 375 trillion Coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 75,492 Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission, the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The KowalskiThePenguin City Times is sold out, overweight people receive reparations checks from fast-food chains, and citizens are tied down and forced to watch educational videos on empathy. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. KowalskiThePenguin's national animal is the Barbarian, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Penguinism.

KowalskiThePenguin is ranked 137,803rd in the world and 331st in Lemony Snaket for Most Extreme, scoring 9.89 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

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Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 9,728thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,484thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,979th
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Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 3rd in the regionTop
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Highest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 11th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 11th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 14th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 16th in the regionLargest Governments: 16th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 19th in the regionTop
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Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 22nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 22nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 30th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 32nd in the regionNudest: 33rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 36th in the region

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