by Max Barry

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Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 9,876th Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,543rd Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,710th
The Intellectual State of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Cool cars go faster. That's a scientific fact.
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck


Population4.597 billion



The Intellectual State of KowalskiThePenguin is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Kowalski with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 4.597 billion Kowalskians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 45.1%.

The strong KowalskiThePenguinian economy, worth 347 trillion Coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 75,492 Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission, the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The KowalskiThePenguin City Times is sold out, overweight people receive reparations checks from fast-food chains, and citizens are tied down and forced to watch educational videos on empathy. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. KowalskiThePenguin's national animal is the Barbarian, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Penguinism.

KowalskiThePenguin is ranked 125,832nd in the world and 376th in Lemony Snaket for Highest Crime Rates, with 2.33 Crimes Per Hour.

Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 9,876thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,543rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,710th
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 6th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 12th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionLargest Governments: 17th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 18th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 18th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 19th in the regionTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 21st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 21st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 34th in the regionNudest: 34th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 36th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 37th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


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