by Max Barry

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Most Devout: 823rdMost Primitive: 1,044thSafest: 4,292nd
The Halaḥa of
Psychotic Dictatorship
That's not kosher!
Influence
Envoy
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Reasonable
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kosher

Population18.65 billion

CapitalYerushalayim
LeaderRabbi Hillel
Faithkashrut

Currencyheḥsher
Animalkid in its mother's milk

The Halaḥa of Kosher is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Rabbi Hillel with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, pith helmet sales, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.65 billion mashgiaḥim are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yerushalayim. The average income tax rate is 85.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient kosher economy, worth 979 trillion heḥshers a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 52,527 heḥshers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

A man's 250 square-foot apartment is his castle, cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise, calling Rabbi Hillel a tyrant is seen as the ultimate compliment, and lines of trenches demarcate the nation's borders. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kosher's national animal is the kid in its mother's milk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is kashrut.

Kosher is ranked 248,522nd in the world and 20th in Seinfeld for Fattest Citizens, with 4.2 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 823rdMost Primitive: 1,044thTop
5%
Safest: 4,292ndMost Pacifist: 5,894thLowest Crime Rates: 7,124thBest Weather: 7,909thHealthiest Citizens: 8,160thMost Patriotic: 10,184thMost Compassionate Citizens: 11,129thLargest Welfare Programs: 11,450thHighest Average Tax Rates: 11,523rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 11,675thLargest Populations: 11,739thMost Beautiful Environments: 11,749thMost Authoritarian: 11,859thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 12,084thLongest Average Lifespans: 12,250thTop
10%
Largest Governments: 12,898thMost Valuable International Artwork: 13,884thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,907thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,991stMost Stationary: 15,054thNicest Citizens: 15,062ndMost Cultured: 15,152ndMost Advanced Public Education: 16,091stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 17,916thMost Conservative: 17,966thMost Influential: 18,377thHighest Economic Output: 20,627th
Top
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Healthiest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 2nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kosher was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Kosher was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Eco-Friendly Governments.
  • : Kosher was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Populations and Most Beautiful Environments.
  • : Kosher was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Governments.
  • : Kosher was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans and Most Eco-Friendly Governments.
  • : Kosher's influence in Seinfeld rose from "Duckspeaker" to "Envoy".
  • : Following new legislation in Kosher, lines of trenches demarcate the nation's borders.
  • : Following new legislation in Kosher, calling Rabbi Hillel a tyrant is seen as the ultimate compliment.
  • : Following new legislation in Kosher, cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise.
  • : Following new legislation in Kosher, a man's 250 square-foot apartment is his castle.

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