The Democratic Republic of Kongoland is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by President Thomas Masire with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.061 billion Kongolese are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Umpala. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Kongo economy, worth 854 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 140,942 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones, and young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kongoland's national animal is the bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kongoland is ranked 6,138^th in the world and 54^th in The Leftist Assembly for Smartest Citizens, with 116.69 quips per hour.