The Democratic Republic of Kongoland is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by President Thomas Masire with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, soft-spoken computers, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 2.368 billion Kongolese are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Umpala. The average income tax rate is 96.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Kongo economy, worth 312 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 131,992 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

'Totally Not Partisan News' is a line item on the government budget, recognizing the Kongo flag qualifies you for citizenship, tourists need only sign on the dotted line to become citizens, and the government is giving peace a chance. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kongoland's national animal is the bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kongoland is ranked 4,158^th in the world and 42^nd in The Leftist Assembly for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 2,082.98 Tourists Per Hour.