by Max Barry

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Most Ignorant Citizens: 268thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 363rdMost Devout: 432nd
The Holy Czarate of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Kill the shepherd and you control the flock.
Influence
Squire
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kolvokaslavia

Population5.539 billion

CapitalSaint Kolvoski City
Leaderthe Supreme Czar Sergei Kolvoski
FaithKolvoskism

CurrencyKolvo
AnimalCarnivorous Shrew

The Holy Czarate of Kolvokaslavia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by the Supreme Czar Sergei Kolvoski with an iron fist, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, pith helmet sales, and lack of airports. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.539 billion Subjects are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Kolvoski City. The average income tax rate is 74.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kolvokaslavian economy, worth a remarkable 1,764 trillion Kolvoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 318,595 Kolvoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

The examiners who examine examiners are being examined by examiners, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks", swings are banned for being a danger to children, and vets have been drafted in to help "fix" those who fail the parental license exam. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Kolvokaslavia's national animal is the Carnivorous Shrew, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Kolvoskism.

Kolvokaslavia is ranked 166,116th in the world and 77th in The Alliance of Dictators for Most Pro-Market, scoring -56.78 on the Rand Index.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 268thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 363rdMost Devout: 432ndLargest Insurance Industry: 490thMost Primitive: 497thLargest Mining Sector: 580thLargest Retail Industry: 585thMost Avoided: 826thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 834thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 879thFattest Citizens: 962ndMost Conservative: 967thMost Corrupt Governments: 983rdLargest Black Market: 1,140thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,196thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,244thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,379thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,434thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,584thHighest Average Incomes: 1,622ndTop
5%
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,300thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,485thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,705thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,973rdMost Efficient Economies: 4,205thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,570thLargest Gambling Industry: 4,638thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,291stLowest Crime Rates: 5,753rdLargest Governments: 6,312thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,233rdHighest Economic Output: 8,748thMost Authoritarian: 10,152ndTop
10%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 10,955thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 10,989thHighest Average Tax Rates: 19,531st
Top
5%
Most Primitive: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Devout: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionMost Conservative: 5th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 8th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 8th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 9th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 11th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 11th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kolvokaslavia was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Authoritarian.
  • : Kolvokaslavia was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Disposable Incomes.
  • : Kolvokaslavia's influence in The Alliance of Dictators rose from "Page" to "Squire".
  • : Kolvokaslavia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Agricultural Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolvokaslavia, vets have been drafted in to help "fix" those who fail the parental license exam.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolvokaslavia, swings are banned for being a danger to children.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolvokaslavia, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks".
  • : Following new legislation in Kolvokaslavia, the examiners who examine examiners are being examined by examiners.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolvokaslavia, people who have never eaten chicken are told it tastes a bit like crocodile.
  • : Kolvokaslavia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Agricultural Sector.

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