by Max Barry

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Largest Populations: 402ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 530thMost Stationary: 1,007th
The Timeless Warriors of
Father Knows Best State
If a man has no honour, he has nothing
Influence
Enforcer
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
All-Consuming
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kolothland

Population41.204 billion

CapitalQartz
LeaderChancellor
Faithkuvah'magh

CurrencyBloodwine
AnimalTribble

The Timeless Warriors of Kolothland is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Chancellor with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, parental licensing program, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 41.204 billion Kolothlandians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Qartz. The average income tax rate is 83.9%.

The all-consuming Kolothlandian economy, worth a remarkable 8,051 trillion Bloodwines a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 195,409 Bloodwines, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Glamping Kolothlandians won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed, and both criminals and civilians are DOA. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kolothland's national animal is the Tribble, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is kuvah'magh.

Kolothland is ranked 8,518th in the world and 2nd in Dragon Lair for Healthiest Citizens, with 15.88 bananas ingested per day.

Top
1%
Largest Populations: 402ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 530thMost Stationary: 1,007thHighest Economic Output: 1,014thSafest: 1,824thTop
5%
Most Patriotic: 2,757thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,216thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,269thLargest Mining Sector: 3,646thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,617thMost Secular: 4,960thLowest Crime Rates: 6,553rdLargest Governments: 7,082ndHighest Average Incomes: 7,841stLargest Publishing Industry: 8,207thHealthiest Citizens: 8,518thLargest Agricultural Sector: 9,150thSmartest Citizens: 9,650thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,066thHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,815thTop
10%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 13,676thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,059thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,420thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14,952ndLongest Average Lifespans: 14,953rdMost Developed: 18,205thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,433rdHighest Poor Incomes: 18,678thMost Advanced Public Education: 21,289thLargest Information Technology Sector: 23,782ndMost Influential: 24,442ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 24,798th
Top
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Kolothland, both criminals and civilians are DOA.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolothland, male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolothland, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolothland, glamping Kolothlandians won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolothland, paranoid museum guards keep a lookout for any animated displays attempting to escape the premises after dark.
  • : Kolothland was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Patriotic.
  • : Kolothland was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Average Tax Rates and the Top 10% for Highest Poor Incomes and Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolothland, the military will start wars with other nations on a lark.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolothland, citizens have an obligation to remain silent and anything they say may be used against them.
  • : Following new legislation in Kolothland, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card.

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