The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, flagrant waste-dumping, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 31.883 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 27,654 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 867,380 Cuppas, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,339,974 per year while the poor average 61,373, a ratio of 87.0 to 1.

Nude art is becoming wildly popular, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis, it is common to still see adults with training wheels on their bikes, and the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 151,634^th in the world and 92^nd in Wysteria for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring -72.53 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.