by Max Barry

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Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th
The Richly Blended Peoples of
Capitalist Paradise
Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population43.933 billion

CapitalFull City
LeaderGeneralissimo Barista Espresso

AnimalSchrodingers Cat

The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, flagrant waste-dumping, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 43.933 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 38,652 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 879,794 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,241,938 per year while the poor average 7,897, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 60th in the world and 8th in Wysteria for Fattest Citizens, with 99.14 Obesity Rate.

Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9thHighest Economic Output: 11thLargest Insurance Industry: 15thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 16thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18thLargest Populations: 18thHighest Average Incomes: 27thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 27thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 33rdLargest Mining Sector: 40thLargest Gambling Industry: 41stSmartest Citizens: 42ndMost Avoided: 45thMost Scientifically Advanced: 45thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 46thLargest Agricultural Sector: 49thFattest Citizens: 60thMost Armed: 68thLargest Publishing Industry: 83rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 84thHighest Crime Rates: 109thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 169thRudest Citizens: 184thMost Cultured: 231stMost Secular: 268thLargest Retail Industry: 514thLargest Information Technology Sector: 858thMost Rebellious Youth: 882ndMost Corrupt Governments: 1,155thMost Efficient Economies: 1,443rdTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,800thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,081stLargest Black Market: 6,914thMost Influential: 7,556thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,743rdMost Stationary: 13,251stTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 21,150thMost Pro-Market: 26,635th
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionTop
Most Armed: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 4th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 5th in the regionMost Cultured: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionMost Secular: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 7th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 7th in the region

National Happenings

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