The Empire of Koem Kab is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Great Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.583 billion Koem Kabs are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Federick City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Koem Kabian economy, worth a remarkable 9,020 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 852,358 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The intelligence community is playing 4-D chess with an imaginary spy network, it turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage, biological warfare is used to solve small disagreements, and soldiers stream their classified military operations live for millions of fans. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koem Kab's national animal is the porpoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Koem Kabism.

Koem Kab is ranked 2,035^th in the world and 1^st in The Secret Order for Rudest Citizens, with 236.31 insults per minute.