The Empire of Koem Kab is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by The Great Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, avant-garde cinema, and soft-spoken computers. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.427 billion Koem Kabs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Federick City. The average income tax rate is 97.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Koem Kabian economy, worth a remarkable 3,724 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 686,364 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Official maps have to be revised on a weekly basis, the Foreign Ministry thinks an eye for an eye is a blindingly good idea, pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects, and Koem Kab is increasingly belligerent on the international stage. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koem Kab's national animal is the porpoise, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Koem Kab is ranked 162,969^th in the world and 6^th in The Secret Order for Most Primitive, scoring -1315.88 on the Scary Big Number Scale.