The Kingdom of Knitehorn is a huge, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 753 million Knitehornians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Education, although Defense, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kini. The average income tax rate is 27.5%.

The all-consuming Knitehornian economy, worth 79.8 trillion Bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 105,921 Bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Many in Knitehorn are born in the purple, in its new More is More campaign the government advertises obese men and women posing coquettishly with baked goods to spare their blushes, visitors to Knitehorn are microchipped and must be escorted by a Knitehornian soldier - even to the bathroom, and meals are now followed by thirty minutes of mandatory exercise. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Knitehorn's national animal is the Corona Virus, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Knitehorn is ranked 150,959^th in the world and 6,788^th in The North Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 509.63 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.