The Kingdom of Knitehorn is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Shark B with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, strictly enforced bedtime, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.993 billion Knitehornians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kini. The average income tax rate is 61.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Knitehornian economy, worth 290 trillion Bitcoins a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 145,652 Bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Census workers are having a hard time figuring out who is actually living in Knitehorn after the ban on emigration was lifted, teen gangs are encouraged to take drugs, incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables, and customer satisfaction with online delivery services is at an all time high. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Knitehorn's national animal is the Requiem Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Family.

Knitehorn is ranked 26,282^nd in the world and 717^th in The North Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 105.6 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.