The Dictatorship of Kiikkulandia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Janis Petke with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 17.722 billion Kiikkulandians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government prioritizes Industry, with Education, Administration, and Defense also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Highbutt. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 78.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Kiikkulandian economy, worth a remarkable 4,879 trillion €s a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Soda Sales, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 275,316 €s, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 843,604 per year while the poor average 69,552, a ratio of 12.1 to 1.

Weather reports simply advise Kiikkulandians to 'look outside', the government is rumored to hire body doubles whose full-time jobs are to cry at public events, the constant playing of Merry Birthday on Kiikkulandian radio has led to calls for the song to be classified as a crime against humanity, and relatives of recent award winners find their trophies make stylish urns. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kiikkulandia's national animal is the Tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Kiikkulandia is ranked 340,471^st in the world and 1,547^th in Europe for Lowest Crime Rates, with 3.28 law-abiding acts per hour.