by Max Barry

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Largest Gambling Industry: 508th Most Armed: 1,774th Most Ignorant Citizens: 2,405th
The Empire of
Father Knows Best State
Wave the card and the door shall open
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Keycard

Population4.135 billion

Currencykey
Animallock

The Empire of Keycard is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, deadly medical pandemics, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.135 billion Doorholders are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. The average income tax rate is 51.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Keycardian economy, worth 458 trillion keys a year, is quite specialized and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 110,900 keys, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead", moonshine has made a resurgence, many believe that you can't repeat history's mistakes if you don't care what they were, and citizens cannot change their light bulbs without approval from an international committee. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Keycard's national animal is the lock, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Keycard is ranked 82,460th in the world and 3,557th in the South Pacific for Most Extreme, scoring 18.24 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 508thTop
5%
Most Armed: 1,774thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,405thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,904thLargest Black Market: 3,083rdMost Devout: 3,969thFattest Citizens: 4,731stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 5,509thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,637thMost Avoided: 5,759thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,851stTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 8,794thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,021stMost Subsidized Industry: 10,899thLargest Mining Sector: 12,693rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 15,013thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,038thHighest Crime Rates: 15,435thMost Efficient Economies: 16,489th
Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 12th in the regionMost Armed: 38th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 45th in the regionLargest Black Market: 49th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 55th in the regionTop
5%
Most Devout: 81st in the regionFattest Citizens: 104th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 109th in the regionMost Avoided: 115th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 121st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 131st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 145th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 183rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 240th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 336th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 354th in the regionMost Stationary: 360th in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 423rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 427th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 452nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 498th in the regionLargest Populations: 507th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 643rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 651st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, citizens cannot change their light bulbs without approval from an international committee.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, many believe that you can't repeat history's mistakes if you don't care what they were.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, moonshine has made a resurgence.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead".
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked.
  • : Keycard was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume.
  • : Keycard was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews.

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