by Max Barry

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Largest Gambling Industry: 305th Highest Crime Rates: 3,072nd Most Primitive: 4,019th
The Empire of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Wave the card and the door shall open
Influence
Minnow
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck

Keycard

Population3.411 billion

Currencykey
Animallock

The Empire of Keycard is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its lack of airports, free-roaming dinosaurs, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.411 billion Doorholders have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Industry, and Public Transport are also considered important, while International Aid and Environment are ignored. The average income tax rate is 37.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Keycardian economy, worth 323 trillion keys a year, is quite specialized and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 94,907 keys, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

The government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad, the government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers', and real power lies not in the debating room but with those who decide what is debated. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Keycard's national animal is the lock, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Keycard is ranked 110,638th in the world and 4,501st in the South Pacific for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 46.97 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.

Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 305thTop
5%
Highest Crime Rates: 3,072ndMost Primitive: 4,019thLargest Black Market: 4,496thMost Avoided: 5,774thMost Devout: 5,981stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,114thMost Ignorant Citizens: 6,176thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6,994thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,263rdTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 9,347thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,896thMost Armed: 12,456thMost Advanced Public Transport: 12,812thHighest Drug Use: 15,251st
Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 9th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 70th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 75th in the regionMost Avoided: 124th in the regionMost Primitive: 131st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 138th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 147th in the regionMost Devout: 152nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 156th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 157th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 205th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 211th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 279th in the regionMost Armed: 295th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 465th in the regionMost Stationary: 468th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 502nd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 553rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 561st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 602nd in the regionLargest Populations: 626th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 683rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, real power lies not in the debating room but with those who decide what is debated.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers'.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, the government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, the government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad.
  • : Keycard was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, companies flee the nation rather than pay their fair share of taxes.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance".
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, family bonding sessions are considered immoral and are banned.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, diabetics find the contents of their medications hard to stomach.
  • : Following new legislation in Keycard, it's scientifically provable that Keycardian guys don't know how to make a woman happy.

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