The Republic of Key Island is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its smutty television, avowedly heterosexual populace, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed population of 2.888 billion Key Islandians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, moralistic, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 36.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Key Islandian economy, worth 169 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 58,737 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Warfare increasingly resembles a video game, it's considered a civil right to be allowed to neglect and mistreat your own children, the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings", and candidates for public office painstakingly research their family trees to ensure their eligibility. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Key Island's national animal is the Clam, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Key Island is ranked 156,077^th in the world and 563^rd in The grimy backyard of Bigej for Lowest Crime Rates, with 60.51 law-abiding acts per hour.