by Max Barry

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Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,370th Nudest: 4,356th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 4,630th
The Socialist Republic of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Freiheit für die vielen
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population9.275 billion



The Socialist Republic of Kestvala is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by tbd with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 9.275 billion Kestvalans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Köthausen. The average income tax rate is 79.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Kestvalan economy, worth a remarkable 1,746 trillion Krests a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 188,289 Krests, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines, news headlines usually include p-values, the housing market has collapsed like an overbaked Brancalandian souffle, and psychiatrists bizarrely accompany tbd to meetings with foreign heads of state. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kestvala's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is none.

Kestvala is ranked 5,535th in the world and 327th in Osiris for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 12,712.25 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.

Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,370thNudest: 4,356thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,630thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,655thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,746thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,870thLargest Retail Industry: 4,896thLargest Black Market: 4,977thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,535thLargest Mining Sector: 5,721stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,809thHighest Average Incomes: 6,840thHighest Economic Output: 7,048thLargest Governments: 7,352ndLowest Crime Rates: 7,754thMost Cultured: 8,032ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 8,332ndTop
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 9,482ndMost Corrupt Governments: 9,976thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 10,242ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 10,634thMost Efficient Economies: 11,733rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,853rdMost Developed: 12,243rdSmartest Citizens: 12,330thHealthiest Citizens: 13,197thHighest Average Tax Rates: 13,582ndHighest Poor Incomes: 14,326thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,881stLargest Information Technology Sector: 15,475thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,049thSafest: 17,536th
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 99th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 176th in the regionNudest: 191st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 195th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 229th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 279th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 279th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 288th in the regionLargest Black Market: 288th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 314th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 327th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 327th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 329th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 369th in the regionMost Cultured: 371st in the regionLargest Governments: 377th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 391st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 397th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 469th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 496th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 521st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 521st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 547th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 570th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Kestvala's influence in Osiris rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : Kestvala's influence in Osiris rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : Kestvala was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Safest.
  • : Kestvala was refounded in Osiris.
  • : Kestvala ceased to exist in Osiris.
  • : Kestvala's influence in Osiris rose from "Newcomer" to "Nipper".
  • : Following new legislation in Kestvala, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany tbd to meetings with foreign heads of state.
  • : Following new legislation in Kestvala, the housing market has collapsed like an overbaked Brancalandian souffle.
  • : Kestvala's influence in Osiris rose from "Hatchling" to "Newcomer".
  • : Kestvala was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Advanced Public Education.


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