The Republic of Kelvenya is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Yaabri luaja with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, aversion to nipples, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, devout population of 3.201 billion Kelvenyans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jula. The average income tax rate is 67.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Kelvenyan economy, worth 320 trillion Kelvenyan kumbas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 100,139 Kelvenyan kumbas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Prison walls have had to be modified to keep parkour-trained criminals from escaping, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election", astronauts take one small step for Kelvenya and one giant step backward from confrontation, and a full moon at night lets economists sleep tight. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelvenya's national animal is the Kelvenyan gorilla, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Kelvenya is ranked 1,866^th in the world and 1^st in Yajib for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 15,035.62 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.