The Armed Republic of Keltische is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Walter Kelt with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, deadly medical pandemics, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.163 billion Keltischeans are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sprague City. The average income tax rate is 74.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Keltischean economy, worth 754 trillion ounces a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 238,514 ounces, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Priests are being drafted by the church load, the government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, a murderous reputation can revitalise a flagging celebrity career, and bars are packed at all hours. Crime is almost non-existent. Keltische's national animal is the wombat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Science.

Keltische is ranked 32,420^th in the world and 36^th in The Communist Bloc for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 5,475.19 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.