The Colony of Kelorus is a massive, cultured nation, remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, otherworldly petting zoo, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.713 billion Kelorusis live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education, Social Policy, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tutsikiyancek. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Kelorusian economy, worth 245 trillion Kelorus Lire a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 143,517 Kelorus Lire, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 832,004 per year while the poor average 11,757, a ratio of 70.8 to 1.

Robosexual marriages are increasingly common, vaccinations are mandatory, commuter vessels have trouble staying afloat due to increased passengers, and literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Kelorus's national animal is the Bepzinky, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Kelorus is ranked 219,071^st in the world and 5,294^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -181.87 on the Scary Big Number Scale.