The Corporate Head of Kelman Winters is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Kelman Winters with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, enslaved workforce, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 14.965 billion corporate drones are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Corporate Headquarters. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.2%.

The all-consuming incorporated economy, worth a remarkable 1,660 trillion thrice laundered stocks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is an impressive 110,985 thrice laundered stocks, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 484,101 per year while the poor average 16,081, a ratio of 30.1 to 1.

It is a crime to operate a combine harvester while intoxicated, government popup ads are springing up like weeds, families consisting of more than three people are forced to split up, and the government is purchasing vast amounts of palm oil for plastics production. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Kelman Winters's national animal is the drone, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Mammonism.

Kelman Winters is ranked 131,619^th in the world and 40^th in Taijitu for Highest Drug Use, scoring 32.6 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.