The Republic of Keistann Ray is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Government of Keistann with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, daily referendums, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.204 billion Central Lanterns are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Holland. The average income tax rate is 90.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Central Lantern economy, worth 553 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Information Technology, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 172,865 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

"What's the Frequency, Government of Keistann?" is a favorite phrase of backyard radio broadcasters when interrupting official diplomatic channels, armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, ritual mummification is making a comeback, and the government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Keistann Ray's national animal is the dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is DC Orthodox.

Keistann Ray is ranked 195,044^th in the world and 7,914^th in The North Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 25.43 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.