by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 13,194th Most Pro-Market: 13,199th
The Republic of
Capitalist Paradise
Racism is Whack
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kaptain lard

Population675 million


The Republic of Kaptain lard is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its burgeoning Jesus population. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 675 million Kaptain lardians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The medium-sized, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Healthcare, and Welfare also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.0%.

The thriving Kaptain lardian economy, worth 31.8 trillion spittoons a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 47,092 spittoons, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 166,692 per year while the poor average 9,605, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Military spending is on the increase, organ donation is compulsory, military spending recently hit a new high, and formerly fertile fields are being leached dry of nutrients by intensive farming. Crime is a problem. Kaptain lard's national animal is the Jesus, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Kaptain lard is ranked 23,136th in the world and 10th in Finns for Most Primitive, scoring 56.57 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Largest Retail Industry: 13,194thMost Pro-Market: 13,199th
Most Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 3rd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: