The Marching Orders of Kapitan is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Brass Admiral with a fair hand, and notable for its digital currency, daily referendums, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.481 billion Kapitans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cantonment. The average income tax rate is 75.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kapitan economy, worth 449 trillion field rations a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 129,095 field rations, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Anti-government web sites are springing up, military officers are given medals for disobeying orders, the Kapitan Enquirer offers weekly cash prizes for 'most blasphemous song, story, or cartoon', and the amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Kapitan's national animal is the Wojtek the Soldier Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Chain of Command.

Kapitan is ranked 10,868^th in the world and 1^st in Cloak and Dagger for Highest Poor Incomes, with 107,258.62 Standard Monetary Units.