by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 2,978thLargest Populations: 4,622ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,690th
The One That Got Away of
Moralistic Democracy
Keep kalm and travel
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population24.537 billion

FaithLife and Death


The One That Got Away of Kalmukia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, fear of technology, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 24.537 billion Kalmukians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 85.1%.

The Kalmukiano economy, worth 978 trillion Florins a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 39,864 Florins, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

Intellectual snobbery has the cognoscenti sneering at anyone who doesn't have an opinion on the semiological drift of Umberto Eco's works, sanitary products are sold in brown paper at hairdressers' salons, the nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories', and government ministers claim to ride dragons to work. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kalmukia's national animal is the Ermin, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Life and Death.

Kalmukia is ranked 189,354th in the world and 24th in The Union of Benevolent Leader for Most Developed, scoring 50.91 on the Human Development Index.

Most Primitive: 2,978thLargest Populations: 4,622ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,690thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 11,238thTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 11,711thLargest Black Market: 11,722ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 15,171stHighest Economic Output: 19,239thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 20,417thMost Conservative: 20,850th
Largest Populations: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

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