The Matriarchy of Kalimport is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Grand Precept with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, restrictive gun laws, and labour-free parental leave. The compassionate population of 7.149 billion Kalimportians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kalimport City. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Kalimportian economy, worth a remarkable 1,350 trillion Dewgongs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 188,875 Dewgongs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Annual Formula One races bring the capital to a screeching halt, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings, beaches are empty as the shark population multiplies exponentially, and the Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby Grand Precept Pics" has made Grand Precept's mom a celebrity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kalimport's national animal is the Golden Opera, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Logic and Reason.

Kalimport is ranked 290,211^th in the world and 568^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -10 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.