The Holy ༺ Violet ༻ Empire of Jyzeria is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by President Carla Porsche with an iron fist, and renowned for its aversion to nipples, avowedly heterosexual populace, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.555 billion Jyzerians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Porscheline. The average income tax rate is 93.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jyzerian economy, worth a remarkable 1,083 trillion Jyzes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 126,673 Jyzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Boys who even ask about cheerleading are placed on the Sex Offenders Register, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Jyzerian Liberator", Jyzerian watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact, and the nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jyzeria's national animal is the Vampire, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Marjam.

Jyzeria is ranked 143,406^th in the world and 5,424^th in the West Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -8.94 on the Clooney Contribution Index.