by Max Barry

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Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 418thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 893rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,082nd
The Glorious Turinese Mafia of
Corporate Police State
DRAIN THE SWAMP OF SERIE A CORRUPTION!!!
Godfather Andrea Agnelli
Influence
Eminence Grise
Supreme Leader Godfather Mafia Boss
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Juventus FC

Population3.995 billion

CapitalTurin
LeaderGodfather Andrea Agnelli
FaithAgnellism

CurrencyEuro
AnimalZebra

The Glorious Turinese Mafia of Juventus FC is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Godfather Andrea Agnelli with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, flagrant waste-dumping, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.995 billion Turinese are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Environment and Education are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Turin. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Turinese economy, worth 720 trillion Euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 180,360 Euros, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,641,112 per year while the poor average 2,250, a ratio of 729 to 1.

The Turinese war navy contains an oddly large number of luxury yachts and cruise liners, it's a common sight to see angry commuters with grenade launchers mounted on their vehicles, the nation's school children are fluent in Klingon but lack basic mathematical skills, and all technology must be personally blessed by religious officials before purchase. Crime is pervasive, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Juventus FC's national animal is the Zebra, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Agnellism.

Juventus FC is ranked 266,967th in the world and 15th in FIFA Lands for Smartest Citizens, with 0.43 quips per hour.

Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 418thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 893rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,082ndMost Armed: 1,197thMost Avoided: 1,222ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,302ndFattest Citizens: 1,444thLargest Retail Industry: 1,967thHighest Crime Rates: 2,251stHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,417thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,547thTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,715thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,403rdMost Corrupt Governments: 3,572ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,649thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,994thRudest Citizens: 4,454thMost Devout: 4,779thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,180thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5,363rdMost Patriotic: 6,801stMost Conservative: 7,163rdLargest Mining Sector: 7,511thHighest Average Incomes: 9,914thMost Valuable International Artwork: 10,002ndMost Efficient Economies: 10,958thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11,415thTop
10%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 13,664thLargest Black Market: 13,979thLargest Insurance Industry: 22,502ndMost Subsidized Industry: 24,259th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, all technology must be personally blessed by religious officials before purchase.
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, the nation's school children are fluent in Klingon but lack basic mathematical skills.
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, it's a common sight to see angry commuters with grenade launchers mounted on their vehicles.
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, the Turinese war navy contains an oddly large number of luxury yachts and cruise liners.
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, chickens roam the streets freely.
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, women should never trust a man who turns up to a first date with an open bottle in his hand.
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, well-off serial killers write monthly checks to avoid jail time.
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, citizens must have a license to operate a computer.
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, posters encourage people to "Just Do It!".
  • : Following new legislation in Juventus FC, the government is accused of being heartless by those considered brainless.

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