The Glorious Turinese Mafia of Juventus FC is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Godfather Andrea Agnelli with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, flagrant waste-dumping, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.995 billion Turinese are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Environment and Education are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Turin. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Turinese economy, worth 720 trillion Euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 180,360 Euros, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,641,112 per year while the poor average 2,250, a ratio of 729 to 1.

The Turinese war navy contains an oddly large number of luxury yachts and cruise liners, it's a common sight to see angry commuters with grenade launchers mounted on their vehicles, the nation's school children are fluent in Klingon but lack basic mathematical skills, and all technology must be personally blessed by religious officials before purchase. Crime is pervasive, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Juventus FC's national animal is the Zebra, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Agnellism.

Juventus FC is ranked 266,967^th in the world and 15^th in FIFA Lands for Smartest Citizens, with 0.43 quips per hour.