The Commonwealth of Jovian Knights is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by God Emperor Fauci with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, complete lack of prisons, and parental licensing program. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.708 billion Jovians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lindas. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Jovian economy, worth a remarkable 1,053 trillion Health Bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 184,486 Health Bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

New pests have been imported into Jovian Knights, the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass", the new biography of God Emperor Fauci is subtitled "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate the Bomb", and Jovian Knights is building an army to protect its overseas territories. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jovian Knights's national animal is the Taiga, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Jovian Knights is ranked 47,061^st in the world and 2,460^th in The North Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 3,910.04 on the Hickory Productivity Index.