The Ancient Elefante of Jonewest is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, zero percent divorce rate, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 17.404 billion Jonewestians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 68.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Jonewestian economy, worth a remarkable 1,310 trillion Barcodes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Arms Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. Average income is 75,280 Barcodes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, the nation is currently revamping its entire education system, children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban, and cremation is compulsory for the deceased. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jonewest's national animal is the Elefante, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Jonewest is ranked 126,438^th in the world and 116^th in Caer Sidi for Smartest Citizens, with 29.91 quips per hour.