The New Brazil of Joaozinho is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Dom João II with an even hand, and notable for its closed borders, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 2.46 billion Joaozinhos are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, although Healthcare, Administration, and Public Transport are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Joãolândia. The average income tax rate is 1.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Joaozinho economy, worth 516 trillion réis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Retail, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 209,919 réis, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Clergy do their best to cover up their old tattoos, massive new slaughterhouses are being hailed as a sign of progress, X-Files ratings have hit an all-time low, and Joaozinhos are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Joaozinho's national animal is the capybara, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joãonism.

Joaozinho is ranked 312,562^nd in the world and 281^st in Flanelistan for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 1.45 Effective Tax Rate.