The Crayola Write-in Ballot of Jerzylvania is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by -insert desired name here- with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.975 billion Jerzylvanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the only town without representation. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.7%.

The powerhouse Jerzylvanian economy, worth 917 trillion moments a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 102,201 moments, with the richest citizens earning 7.4 times as much as the poorest.

The slowest students feel vaguely targeted by their Mendelian Inheritance coursework, families are only permitted to have one child, a soldier's body is a temple, and grazing lands are filled with cattle wearing odd-looking anti-pollution devices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jerzylvania's national animal is the what in the HELL is that thing, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is varies per individual.

Jerzylvania is ranked 101,988^th in the world and 1^st in Limelight for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 855.41 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.