by Max Barry

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Fattest Citizens: 8,971stHighest Economic Output: 13,632ndLargest Black Market: 14,689th
The Traffic Snarl of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Impressionist views... and yet another edit.
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population15.485 billion

Capitalthe only town without representation
Leader-insert desired name here-
Faithvaries per individuals

Currencydeciduous tree leave
Animalclock face

The Traffic Snarl of Jerzylvania is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by -insert desired name here- with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, pith helmet sales, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 15.485 billion Jerzylvanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the only town without representation. The average income tax rate is 69.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Jerzylvanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,720 trillion deciduous tree leaves a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 111,103 deciduous tree leaves, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Belligerent citizens shoot at passing clouds for 'violating their airspace', the state believes that children are what you make of them, crackheads chase drug-loaded drones in hopes of a lucky drop, and the police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jerzylvania's national animal is the clock face and its national religion is varies per individuals.

Jerzylvania is ranked 43,331st in the world and 1st in Democracy for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 4,116.44 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

Fattest Citizens: 8,971stHighest Economic Output: 13,632ndTop
Largest Black Market: 14,689thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 14,875thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 15,556thMost Valuable International Artwork: 16,733rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 22,392ndMost Cultured: 22,748thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 23,026thLargest Populations: 23,290th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Jerzylvania changed its national nation type to "Traffic Snarl".
  • : Jerzylvania altered its national flag.
  • : Following new legislation in Jerzylvania, the police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes.
  • : Jerzylvania was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • : Jerzylvania was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Jerzylvania's influence in Democracy rose from "Eminence Grise" to "Hermit".
  • : Following new legislation in Jerzylvania, crackheads chase drug-loaded drones in hopes of a lucky drop.
  • : Jerzylvania was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • : Jerzylvania changed its national motto to "Impressionist views... and yet another edit.".
  • : Jerzylvania was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.