by Max Barry

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Largest Retail Industry: 426th Rudest Citizens: 621st Largest Gambling Industry: 794th
The Corporate States of
Capitalist Paradise
roses are red, that booty is thick, this is my head, i
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.149 billion

LeaderGabe Lacks

AnimalFounding Father

The Corporate States of Jackitoffistan is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Gabe Lacks with an even hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, aversion to nipples, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 2.149 billion Jackitoffistanis are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, although Defense and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jackitoffsonville. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Jackitoffistanian economy, worth 433 trillion monies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 201,839 monies, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,205,630 per year while the poor average 15,397, a ratio of 78.3 to 1.

Textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be, inter-species marriages are ignored by the government, napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations, and cigarettes are dead-cheap. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Jackitoffistan's national animal is the Founding Father, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Jackitoffistan is ranked 32,792nd in the world and 109th in Capitalist Paradise for Highest Economic Output, with 433 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

Largest Retail Industry: 426thRudest Citizens: 621stLargest Gambling Industry: 794thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 820thFattest Citizens: 829thHighest Crime Rates: 936thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,010thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,060thMost Armed: 1,159thMost Avoided: 1,223rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,362ndTop
Highest Disposable Incomes: 1,660thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,878thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,285thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,478thLargest Insurance Industry: 3,734thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,908thLargest Mining Sector: 4,324thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,427thHighest Average Incomes: 5,531stMost Corrupt Governments: 6,035thMost Efficient Economies: 6,764thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 7,277thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7,484thTop
Highest Drug Use: 8,233rdMost Subsidized Industry: 8,861stMost Pro-Market: 8,866thMost Scientifically Advanced: 12,192ndMost Rebellious Youth: 13,657thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 13,858th
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 12th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 13th in the regionTop
Largest Gambling Industry: 15th in the regionRudest Citizens: 16th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 17th in the regionFattest Citizens: 19th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 19th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 20th in the regionMost Armed: 22nd in the regionMost Avoided: 22nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 23rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 24th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 24th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 24th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 26th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, cigarettes are dead-cheap.
  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations.
  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, inter-species marriages are ignored by the government.
  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be.
  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, concussed Founding Fatherball players cannot remember their lineup position.
  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, kids who move from attending a public school in the city to the country often struggle in goat milking class.
  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, no animal is considered endangered if there's another that looks kind of like it.
  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, electrocution deaths among computer technicians are at an all-time high.
  • : Following new legislation in Jackitoffistan, warfare increasingly resembles a video game.
  • : Jackitoffistan's influence in Capitalist Paradise rose from "Sprat" to "Shoeshiner".


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