The Bad Bad Hats of It Hurts is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, free-roaming dinosaurs, and ritual sacrifices. The compassionate population of 3.378 billion It Hurtsians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 27.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong It Hurtsian economy, worth 219 trillion bad bad hats a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 65,083 bad bad hats, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Money is being desperately pumped into the ruined economy, enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity, Leader's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. It Hurts's national animal is the hat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

It Hurts is ranked 152,502^nd in the world and 3,266^th in Artificial Solar System for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 835.5 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.