by Max Barry

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Largest Black Market: 4,629th Most Corrupt Governments: 6,983rd Most Secular: 7,694th
Father Knows Best State
Absence of War Does Not Mean Peace
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck

Impaled Nazarene

Population7.285 billion

LeaderMika Luttinen
FaithBlack Metal


The TRVE KVLT of Impaled Nazarene is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Mika Luttinen with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 7.285 billion Trve Kvlt are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Steelvagina. The average income tax rate is 72.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Kvlt economy, worth 537 trillion Goats a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 73,724 Goats, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The road to capitalism has proved an epic drama of adventure and exploration, foreign investment has dropped to a trickle after laws were passed preventing investors from taking their earnings abroad, legal contracts aren't worth the paper they're written on, and invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Impaled Nazarene's national animal is the Spunk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Black Metal.

Impaled Nazarene is ranked 22,992nd in the world and 5th in Nesapo for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 16,018.2 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.

Largest Black Market: 4,629thMost Corrupt Governments: 6,983rdMost Secular: 7,694thTop
Most Inclusive: 9,452ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11,617thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,153rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,069thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 14,152ndMost Stationary: 15,092ndMost Influential: 15,603rdLowest Crime Rates: 15,611thMost Scientifically Advanced: 16,692ndHealthiest Citizens: 16,801st

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