The Impireach Cheilteach of Ierna is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Árd Rí Rodinius with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, pith helmet sales, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.833 billion Iernans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hibernia. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Iernan economy, worth 699 trillion Valeras a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 144,667 Valeras, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Royalist is the most offensive slur in the Iernan language, the IBI Channel Tunnel project is plagued by delays, drunk drivers are sentenced to death, and industry tycoons rarely hide their misdeeds due to the government's habit of bailing them out. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ierna's national animal is the Great Irish Elk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Ierna is ranked 233,904^th in the world and 167^th in New Western Empire for Most Primitive, scoring -336.97 on the Scary Big Number Scale.