The Glorious Kingdom of Hurtistan is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Hurt with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, state-planned economy, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, cheerful population of 11.486 billion Hurtistanis are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Healthcare, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Taranna. The average income tax rate is 98.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Hurtistanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,779 trillion Dollarydoos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 242,016 Dollarydoos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Billions of Dollarydoos are spent to take high-quality photos of the Kadri Nebula, the nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake, children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life, and exceptionally healthy police officers can sprint after crooks for hours on end. Crime is totally unknown. Hurtistan's national animal is the Kadri, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Religion of Not Our Business.

Hurtistan is ranked 7,838^th in the world and 5^th in Sky Haven for Most Secular, with 97.09 Atheism Rate.