The Houber's Own Highlanders of HubenPhone is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Bernhardt Von Huober with an iron fist, and renowned for its suspicion of poets. The cynical, devout population of 5.839 billion Ertzenlander Highlanders are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, well-organized government prioritizes Healthcare, with Environment, Administration, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Public Transport is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Highland Fortress. The average income tax rate is 42.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Ertzenlander Highlander economy, worth 239 trillion Ertzenlander Goldmarks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Gambling, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 41,044 Ertzenlander Goldmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The weather in Grand Highland Fortress is always 'pigeons with a chance of droppings', dangerous criminals are often 'accidentally' sent on one-way trips to Maxtopia, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines, and citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. HubenPhone's national animal is the Golden Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

HubenPhone is ranked 306,864^th in the world and 5,959^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring -9.27 on the Hickory Productivity Index.