The United Socialist States of Hobnailed Jackboots is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Jack Boots with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, compulsory military service, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 6.432 billion Hobnailed Jackbootsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stomped Earth. The average income tax rate is 69.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Hobnailed Jackbootsian economy, worth 587 trillion Pebbles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 91,403 Pebbles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An online tea-bagging epidemic is getting worse and (meta)worse, chain-gangs are often seen toting barges and lifting bales, children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces, and most Hobnailed Jackbootsians would sell their own grandmother. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hobnailed Jackboots's national animal is the Cassowary, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Trampling.

Hobnailed Jackboots is ranked 25,835^th in the world and 1,661^st in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 85.36 law-abiding acts per hour.