by Max Barry

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The Holy Revelries of
Capitalist Paradise

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About HIreland

For people who don't being told to stop drinking, you can finally be free to drink yourself to death in peace. HIreland is ruled by whoever happens to have the highest blood alcohol count at the moment, so if you want to be in charge, drink as much 200 proof alcohol as fast as you can and maybe you can be the leader for a few seconds before you go comatose and are carted off to our state of the art hospital. Due to the short-lived nature of our politicians, we are about as far from a dictatorship as you can get, with power changing hands about every fifteen seconds, as opposed to other nation's mere four or so years. Our major businesses are bars and breweries, although the breweries have never found enough sober people to actually open yet, so alcohol remains our largest import. A small lower class exists with a blood alcohol count of zero, and these poor people have to work all day brewing alcohol from food aid packages in exchange for mere foreign currency. fortunately these untouchables only make up a small percentage of our population and most of our citizens well gifted with drink. Our public transportation consists of self driving scooters, which we adopted as the old manually-controlled were found to be the cause of the epidemic of fatal scooter accidents road-blocking dog piles. All of our gutters are well padded and covered for the benefit of our many citizens who spontaneously rest there. A true utopia for alcoholics, and by extension, people in general, please visit out amazing country, and be sure to bring plenty of beer!

Similarities with any existing countries in name or description is purely coincidental.