The Suspicious Yellow Stain of HIreland is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Drunken-most with an even hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, free-roaming dinosaurs, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 5.861 billion HIrelanders are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government prioritizes Industry, although Education, Administration, and Defense are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Leprechaun. The average income tax rate is 8.1%.

The frighteningly efficient HIrelandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,374 trillion Beers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 234,584 Beers, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

Bombs are permitted on planes for the 'security of the passengers', The Drunken-most can finally stop kneading the dough and start rolling in it instead, family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries, and advanced mathematics books explain how two plus two equals five. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. HIreland's national animal is the Drunkard, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Free beer.

HIreland is ranked 8,903^rd in the world and 437^th in Osiris for Smartest Citizens, with 98.7 quips per hour.