by Max Barry

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Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,430thMost Primitive: 1,973rdMost Devout: 2,597th
The Commonwealth of
Corporate Bordello
Ne'er shall invaders trample thy sacred shores.
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Hintuwan

Population3.018 billion

CapitalHaijing
LeaderPresident Bulalacao
FaithRoman Catholicism

Currencypiloncito
Animalcarabao

The Commonwealth of Hintuwan is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by President Bulalacao with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, compulsory military service, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 3.018 billion Hintuwanis are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Industry, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Haijing. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Hintuwani economy, worth 277 trillion piloncitoes a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 91,897 piloncitoes, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 485,617 per year while the poor average 9,235, a ratio of 52.6 to 1.

Pharmacists increasingly claim they are morally obligated to take long lunches, the atmosphere in Hintuwani boardrooms is turning more gay, the serf suggestion box would work better if more serfs were literate, and the government says that Possession is nine-tenths of the Lore. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Hintuwan's national animal is the carabao, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Hintuwan is ranked 3,538th in the world and 9th in The Western Isles for Fattest Citizens, with 29.59 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,430thMost Primitive: 1,973rdMost Devout: 2,597thTop
5%
Fattest Citizens: 3,538thHighest Crime Rates: 3,649thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,861stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,033rdLargest Retail Industry: 5,048thMost Rebellious Youth: 6,476thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,638thMost Avoided: 7,806thRudest Citizens: 7,839thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 8,489thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 9,856thMost Armed: 11,719thTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 15,664thLargest Welfare Programs: 22,107thHighest Disposable Incomes: 22,301stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 22,803rdMost Influential: 23,638thLargest Black Market: 26,538thMost Efficient Economies: 26,865th
Top
5%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Primitive: 7th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 7th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 9th in the regionFattest Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Devout: 10th in the regionMost Avoided: 14th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 15th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 15th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 15th in the regionTop
10%
Most Rebellious Youth: 17th in the regionMost Armed: 25th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 25th in the regionRudest Citizens: 25th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Hintuwan, the government says that Possession is nine-tenths of the Lore.
  • : Hintuwan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Black Market.
  • : Hintuwan was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Devout and the Top 10% for Most Efficient Economies.
  • : Following new legislation in Hintuwan, the serf suggestion box would work better if more serfs were literate.
  • : Following new legislation in Hintuwan, the atmosphere in Hintuwani boardrooms is turning more gay.
  • : Hintuwan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
  • : Following new legislation in Hintuwan, pharmacists increasingly claim they are morally obligated to take long lunches.
  • : Hintuwan lodged a message on the The Western Isles Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Hintuwan, giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why President Bulalacao is a silly poophead.
  • : Following new legislation in Hintuwan, town welcome signs list corporate sponsors.

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