The Sexy Funland of Hetairaea is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Gwen Matisch with a fair hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, keen interest in outer space, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 7.191 billion Hetairaeans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shangri-La. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 46.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Hetairaean economy, worth a remarkable 2,211 trillion Sauces a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 307,514 Sauces, with the richest citizens earning 7.0 times as much as the poorest.

Passionate nomination battles are often as intense as general elections, Loud Patriotic Music Day has been ranked the seventh best new holiday of the year, the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age, and it's a long jump to get onto the housing ladder. Crime is totally unknown. Hetairaea's national animal is the Succubus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is communal loving.

Hetairaea is ranked 11,080^th in the world and 1^st in Project Snowscape for Highest Poor Incomes, with 106,414.8 Standard Monetary Units.